Not always, but...

If you are reviewing your own stuff and your mind wanders, maybe that paragraph should come out.

It's still not easy for me to do that.

I do it, I use run-on sentences.

The intent is to convey. Sometimes you want to take half an idea and get it going, and then fire off its rockets and send it into the sky.

The run-on sentence is a tool to be used, like any other. But you have to use it with care, so that the reader knows you know the difference, and knows that you're not just plain illiterate.

You might even want to point it out explicitly.

Showing "that"

Before: I picked up on that theme and tried to show that our reliance on credit increased...

After: I picked up on that theme and tried to show our reliance on credit increasing...

"That" is a word I type while waiting for my mind to come up with the words I want. Often I go back and get rid of it, later.

In this case, I want to show "the reliance on credit". I don't want to show "that".

Get rid of the comma

Times change. Language changes. It's a hard thing to watch. Personally, I think it's related to the decline of civilization. But I guess people always say that as they get older.

One comma so far.

I like to stick commas in things. I like to stick parenthetical expressions in things -- it adds depth and texture to the text. Since I started blogging I do a lot more with dashes and parentheses in addition to offsetting phrases with commas. I think the three styles offer three levels of emphasis: dashes are more emphatic than commas, and parentheses less emphatic. Texture in the text.

Two commas so far.

But times change and people have largely eliminated commas from their thinking. I don't know how that works or where it came from. But you have to cooperate with people if you want them to read your stuff. See, I want to put a comma after "But times change" and another one after "how that works" and another one right here, but I won't do it.

Oops.

Still, it might have been more effective if those last five words were a separate sentence. But I won't do it.

Always make notes

Gee, I thought I had something to say, but I didn't write it down.

Words matter.

I want to write better descriptions. For example, when I wrote

...treating it as the kind of fact that always has been...

the "kind of" was kind of weak. I changed it to "sort of" but that was sort of weak, too. And they were both ambiguous: Did they mean "actually quite" or did they specify a type of fact? I went back-and-forth between kind of and sort of a few times, then suddenly settled on type of:

...treating it as the type of fact that always has been...

John Madden used to talk about "the red zone". And then everybody was talking about "the red zone". Except one announcer, who kept talking about "the red area".

It was just so wrong.

Area is a soft and squishy word with too many syllables. Too many vowels for football. Zone is a fast word, one syllable: you're in, you're out. It's perfect for the game.

Word Jumble (2): Parentheses as a formatting tool

Given this sentence:

"I'd rather have it and not need it than not have it and need it."

This is better, I think:

"I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it."

The first one is the way it comes out of my head. The second one is from a practical person I know, who probably never thinks about writing or organizing his words.

I compare having to not having. That's my style of logic.

The practical guy compares having to needing. That's clarity.


If it was just "having" versus "not having" that would be fine. But it's "having (and not needing)" and the alternative.

"Not" is a complication. It requires the reader to interrupt himself to do a logical test. It's better to put the "not" off to the end, where it becomes less important.

I'd rather have it (and not need it) than not have it (and need it).

Oh my god it came out that way again! But yeah, with parentheses it is easier to see the better form:

I'd rather have it (and not need it) than need it (and not have it).